


i'm fallin' again

by cryystal_m00n



Category: The Rose (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Anal Sex, Angst, Banter, Kissing, Light Dom/sub, Light Spanking, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Post-Break Up, Power Play, enemies ? calling each other darling and honey, idiots your honor they are idiots, maybe getting back together idk dudes, oh no theyre in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:21:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27356437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cryystal_m00n/pseuds/cryystal_m00n
Summary: if jaehyeong were to pinpoint an exact time when he realized he was in love with woosung, he would probably say that he did so after woosung had walked out of his life.
Relationships: Kim Woosung | Sammy/Lee Jaehyeong | Jeff, minor Lee Hajoon | Dylan/Park Dojoon | Leo
Kudos: 11





	i'm fallin' again

**Author's Note:**

> oh god, i can't believe it's already jae's bdayyyyyyyyyyyy. i have no clue when time passed bc i swear ive been working on this fic for months on end only for it to come out like this lmao. anyway, there's no actual trigger warning on this one except for idiots being absolute clowns fucking dumbasses i hate them  
> habby bday jae, love u to death and i wanna give u a smooch uwu

if jaehyeong were to pinpoint an exact time when he realized he was in love with woosung, he would probably say that he did so after woosung had walked out of his life. he guesses he was in love with him even before the break up, but he was young and naive and unable to name whatever emotions he was feeling at that time. after all, it happened back in high school, when jaehyeong was just figuring out how to survive without wishing for death at any small inconvenience.

they’d been together for less than five months, and the relationship felt more like a normal friendship with occasional kisses shared between them, than anything else. but in those five months, jaehyeong had learned more about himself than ever.

woosung helped him accept himself, he opened so many new doors for jaehyeong and when he was gone, all of a sudden, without a trace, without a goodbye, jaehyeong had been heartbroken.

his first boyfriend left, just like that. he didn’t get to experience a real break up, nor a real relationship, but even so, he was hurt. he thought they had… something. they shared secrets, shared feverish touches when hidden under blankets in woosung’s room, shared… more than just a friendship, despite how it felt.

he may have realized too late that he loved woosung, but that only meant he could move on more easily. there was no other reason to continue loving someone who was gone. at least, that’s what he thought after the realization.

and slowly, the feelings of love and warmth he had towards woosung began to transform into something rotten, unlike anything he’s ever felt for a person before.

he didn’t call it hate, not in the beginning. hate was a strong word, and an even stronger feeling, and despite how much woosung hurt him, he didn’t deserve it. but with time, new friendships and relationships, jaehyeong learned his worth and whatever memory of woosung that appeared in his mind was usually accompanied by a hateful churning in his gut.

woosung may have broken his trust and his heart… but he is doing better now. and for him, that’s all that matters.

at least, he was doing better! but then, wonpil, his… boyfriend, broke up with him. unlike woosung, wonpil _did_ give him a reason for putting an end to their relationship. _it’s not working for me anymore. it’s not you, though, it’s fully my fault_. he’s heard it all before, of course, but it still stings.

they’ve been dating for a few months, and just like all his previous relationships, it ended terribly for jaehyeong. he is used to it by now, he’s too clingy, too desperate, too disinterested, too annoying. he’s anything _but_ the good thing. and really, he doesn’t care anymore.

jaehyeong only needs one thing right now, and that is alcohol.

* * *

hajoon pushes his glass towards jaehyeong, stumbling forward as he does so. he is already drunk, but even intoxicated he’s ready to do anything in his power to cheer his best friend up. “you should drink up! fuck all of those past girlfriends and boyfriends who can’t see what they’re missing on! they’re just idiots who can’t handle your _spice,_ man!” the man throws his arms around jaehyeong’s neck, bringing the taller closer to him. he places a small peck on his lips, before bursting into giggles. “god, i’d _so_ date you if i weren’t already in a relationship.”

jaehyeong smiles back at his best friend, his hands now placed on hajoon’s hips to steady him. “you know dojoon is watching, right?”

“he’s into it.” hajoon waves the concearn off with a carefree shrug, leaning his weight back on jaehyeong. “and you’re comfy and we both know we wouldn’t fuck again.” that much they can agree on. although they fooled around when they first met, the two quickly realized they’d be better off as friends. that had been the only break up that jaehyeong welcomed with open arms.

“still, joonie, you should go back to your boyfriend while i get us some more drinks,” pushing hajoon away, jaehyeong looks over his head to locate dojoon. he’s already heading their way, a soft smile tugging at his lips as he keeps his eyes on his drunk boyfriend. at the shorter man’s whines, jaehyeong focuses on him again. “yes, yes, you will get another shot, of course.”

“hell yeah, shots!” hajoon stumbles back, falling right into dojoon’s arms, just like some stupid romcom where the couple is grossly in love and in sync and totally not making the main character who’s single and depressed feel even worse. jaehyeong chuckles fondly at the scene. he’s not the main character, so the cuteness of his best friends’ relationship doesn’t affect him. shaking his head, jaehyeong barely hears hajoon’s _hey, hot stuff, i think i’ve fallen for you_ joke before he’s whisked away by dojoon to where their table is.

right, jaehyeong has a job to do. get more alcohol and a shot of water for hajoon.

the bar is close to him, a few large steps at most, but with the bodies pressing together the closer he gets to the middle of the dance floor, the harder it is for jaehyeong to move. he pushes through, ignoring the hands tugging at his shirt, the lips pressing on his neck, the hips grinding on him. he’s pleasantly buzzed and giddy, the two long drinks and four shots blurring his brain enough , not horny. at least not enough to let anyone touch him just to get off.

the bartender spots him before he gets there, already reaching for the vodka. coming to the same club almost nightly during his freshman year sure had its benefits.

once he finally gets to where his glasses are waiting, his shirt untucked and lipstick marks lingering on his neck, jaehyeong is ready to kiss whatever deity’s boots for letting him survive through the mass he’s had to squeeze himself through.

“god, chan, i could kiss you right.” he takes one of the glasses and downs it in one go, the sweetness of the soda making it easier to swallow. after years of downing vodka like water, he doesn’t get phased by the burn anymore.

chan laughs, refilling his empty glass with water. “thanks, but i’d rather you didn’t. i don’t like my men and women tall.”

“once again, these long legs cockblock me,” the man sighs and takes a seat near the end of the bar, where no one would bother him. at chan’s amused face, he answers the silent question, “i don’t want to see the joons making out just yet. i love them, but i’m not in the mood to see them exchange spit.” he stretches out in his seat, until his back _pops_ , a satisfied groan leaving his lips.

he doesn’t notice the way he’s leaning _far_ too much out, nor the way his arms head straight into the person walking behind him. he only realizes he’s hit someone when he hears a curse, loud and clear despite the music booming all around.

he turns around faster than hajoon’s ability to turn any normal conversation into a dojoon focused talk, only to be left stunned at _who_ he just hit. “watch where you stretch, you ass!” the person shouts, their voice muffled by both the bass of the edm song and their hand. he doesn’t even need to see their entire face to recognize them. _woosung_.

he hasn’t grown much from the last time he’s seen the man, but his platform boots did give him enough of a height boost to loom over jaehyeong’s sitting form. his hair is longer, just enough to graze over his eyebrows and the back of his neck, _and white_ , a stark contrast to the black clothes he’s wearing. what catches jaehyeong’s attention, besides the glitter on the man’s cheeks, which catches each light that falls on him, are the numerous tattoos adorning woosung’s exposed skin.

a sleeve full of blooming flowers, one of mindless doodles. from under the collar of his lace top peek the edges of a raven skull, while underneath, on his torso and pecs, jaehyeong can see more pieces come to life. his mouth is dry. this isn’t what he expected woosung to look like, years after he left.

but still, his face is the same. his eyes and smile are just as soft as before. he’s beautiful and deadly, enchanting and mortal. he’s alive… breathing… jaehyeong wants to punch him.

and suddenly, jaehyeong is back in high school, sober, in some type of love, with the _only_ person he’s felt this way about. frozen in place, jaehyeong doesn’t know what to do. should he run away, do exactly what woosung had done to him? or would it be better to face the man, let him shatter his heart one more time before he can put him behind and close this chapter at last. could he even _do_ that?

“jaehyeong--” woosung looks just as confused and, dare he say… scared. “i… hey,” woosung, _his_ woosung, breaks into a timid smile, “i didn’t think i’d see you…”

“ever again?” jaehyeong shouts over the music, rolling his eyes when woosung’s expression turns more guarded. “don’t worry,” he stands, grabbing the glasses with trembling hands, “i was just leaving. have a nice night, woosung.”

before he can get a chance to walk away, woosung stops him, wrapping a hand around his wrist. “wait! can i buy you a drink at least?” jaehyeong blinks at him, not knowing what else to do. “for old time’s sake?”

he’d be a liar if he said he didn’t notice the way woosung’s eyes lingered on his face, or the way he looked him up and down with a hungry glint in his darkening eyes. he would also be lying if he said he didn’t feel the same about woosung. the hotness growing in his stomach with each new detail he takes in about the elder’s changed appearance, the wish to feel his touch one more time, the putrid hatred fueling his need to ruin woosung.

he doesn’t know what possesses him next, but all of a sudden he’s pulling woosung down, fingers tangling in his hair, pulling roughly on the locks as he kisses the man, just as heatedly.

to his surprise, woosung kisses him back, arms wrapping around jaehyeong’s neck as he does so. he tastes like tequila and lime, but underneath the alcohol there’s the undeniable tang of smoke. jaehyeong moans into the kiss, tilting his head up to deepen it. sparks travel down his spine when woosung bites his bottom lip, prodding his lips open to push his tongue inside. it’s an odd angle, but it works well enough for them.

woosung doesn’t even give him a minute to breathe, pulling back for only a second to tug jaehyeong up and push him with his back against the sharp edges of the counter, caging him there. he goes back to attacking jaehyeong’s lips, one of his hands sneaking under the younger’s shirt. his fingers are cold enough to make jaehyeong keen as they brush over his stomach. so this is how woosung wants to play… he won’t give him the satisfaction.

he takes the lead when woosung takes a step back to adjust their position, surprising the elder with the force he kisses woosung with. he _wants_ woosung to know that he is no longer the naive boy he was back when they were together. he _needs_ woosung to know that he is doing so much better without him, that he’s grown, matured.

when he gets to fuck him later in the night, he wants woosung to remember it, to think about jaehyeong, the boy he’s left behind and how no one else will ever get to ruin him as well as jaehyeong will do.

he gets woosung’s bottom lip in between his teeth, biting down on it, hard enough to feel the taste of blood on his tongue. woosung’s knees shake, barely supporting his weight anymore, so the younger quickly wraps his arms around his waist, pulling him in so that their chests touch. the elder’s erection brushes on jaehyeong’s thigh, making both of them shiver.

“my place or yours?” woosung asks as jaehyeong moves his lips to his neck, putting small bruises on every inch of skin he can touch.

“mine,” jaehyeong all but growls, fingers digging into woosung’s sides. woosung laughs, breathless. the sound makes jaehyeong’s cock throb in his too tight pants. woosung has _no right_ having such an adorably dumb laugh. and his heart has no _fucking_ right doing whatever parkour its doing in his chest just because woosung laughed.

“alright, big boy,” woosung says, patting his back far too gently, “lead the way.”

and jaehyeong, in his drunken state, smiles down at woosung as if he wasn’t thinking about destroying him just minutes ago, and does just that.

* * *

the bed dips under their added weight as jaehyeong pushes woosung on his back, pinning the elder down. he hovers over woosung, eyes darting over his naked chest, taking in all the tattoos he couldn’t get to admire in the club. tracing the raven with one finger, jaehyeong’s expression shifts as woosung begins to squirm under him. it’s _fascinating_ , how one brush of his finger alone is enough to make woosung moan so prettily for him. _it’s intoxicating._

“do you understand what i want to do to you, woosung?” he asks, pushing his finger down on the man’s pec, the skin around turning whiter. just a few centimeters lower and he would be pushing on his nipple… jaehyeong moves his finger where he wants to, rolling the little numb in between his thumb and finger. woosung mewls, back arching off the mattress. “do you?”

woosung nods, reaching up to pull jaehyeong in for a kiss; one that he is more than eager to respond to. he whispers against jaehyeong’s lips, eyes closed in revery, “you want to hurt me, fuck me until i forget any name but yours, leave bruises on me, mark me, pin me down, fill me up. or am i wrong?”

jaehyeong shakes his head, stunned, before he remembers woosung can’t see him. “you’re not,” he answers, his voice shaking at the end. _way_ _to assert dominance,_ he thinks mockingly.

“well then, darling,” he says, opening his eyes to look straight into jaehyeong’s, “then do your worst.”

by now his head has mostly cleared enough to fret over his previous ideas. “are you sure?” jaehyeong hears himself ask, uneasiness bubbling in his chest. “do you really want that?”

woosung chuckles darkly, threading his fingers through jaehyeong’s hair and tugging at it until the younger’s neck is on full display for him to bite at. “oh, dear, of course i am! you’ll be good and fuck me well, correct?” jaehyeong nods, losing his self control slowly at the words. “i want you to _destroy_ my sanity with that dick of yours.”

jaehyeong chokes on his spit, not knowing whether to laugh or push woosung off his bed. he settles for diving down and biting on the elder’s neck lightly. _god,_ he was backing out from his initial plan _really_ fast.

he still hates woosung. a few held back laughs aren’t going to change the way he feels, even if the warmth spreading all over his body only gets more familiar with each thing woosung does.

“just make sure to not fall asleep balls deep inside, alright?” woosung’s voice pulls him out of his thoughts. he hates this man, despises him, has no other feelings for him besides the negative ones, _so why on earth_ , does he want to fuck him slowly, gently… lovingly. he should’ve drank more, the sober thoughts are starting to take over.

“fuck you,” he growls. jaehyeong turns woosung around in one swift movement, his hands remaining on the white haired man’s hips as he lifts them in the air.

breathlessly, woosung says, “that’s the plan, big boy.” he looks over his shoulder at jaehyeong, smiling at him. it’s easier when he looks at jaehyeong like this; easier to remember what he’s supposed to do.

woosung’s pants get tugged down quickly after, leaving him only in his underwear for jaehyeong to stare at. his legs, just like arms, are covered in ink. one of the pieces matches the flower sleeve, while the rest seem to be mindless artworks, bound together by more mismatched flowers. jaehyeong’s throat goes dry at the thought of leaving bruises in between the tatts.

“are you gonna take my boxers down too, or do you plan to fuck me through the material, big boy?”

“keep talking and i won’t do shit,” he responds, hooking his fingers under the waistband of his underwear to take them off. he moves slower than before, no longer in the mood to just get it done with. now, jaehyeong wants to tease woosung until he’s screaming, begging, pleading for jaehyeong to do more. the image of the elder crying, tear stained cheeks flushed, as he chants jaehyeong’s name, makes his cock twitch in his pants.

“as if i don’t know you’re actually a service top when you-- _shit,_ ” woosung groans, his ass throbbing from the slap jaehyeong placed there. “a little heads up would be nice!” even with the annoyed tone in his voice, he still drops his head in the pillow, ass in the air, wiggling it to show he was _very much_ into the sudden pain play.

“shut up, kim.”

jaehyeong hits his ass again and again, just to watch the redness spread beautifully across the skin. he could do this all day, just spank woosung until his ass is bruised and his cock is dripping and hurting, ignored between his thighs.

woosung manages a weak _make me_ , before his voice dissolves into moans as jaehyeong leans over to bite at his shoulder. the difference between their bodies isn’t much, but with woosung like this, curled into himself to hide from jaehyeong’s wandering hands, the younger feels so much bigger. for a moment, he imagines tying woosung with his ropes, having the smaller man at his mercy, breaking him, covering his body with his. he’d look so much tinier, body bound with red and black ropes, clashing against the ink decorating his skin.

the fantasy doesn’t leave his head, no matter how much he tries to push it away, but jaehyeong knows better than to expect having this, woosung in his bed, open and pliant under his touches, happen again. this is merely a one night stand, a post break up hook up that will end with jaehyeong laying in an empty, cold bed, as he recalls each and every sound woosung made during the night.

 _shit_ , he’s getting way into his head. he just has to fuck woosung, nothing more, nothing less.

“nothing more to comment, _honey_?” he asks woosung, the pet named dripping with sarcasm. when woosung only bit into the pillow to stop a moan from spilling from his lips, jaehyeong smiled to himself. “oh dear, we can’t have you biting my pillows now, can we?” this was easy. not seeing woosung’s face proved to be easier than having him smile _like that_ at him. he could pretend this was just a normal fuck.

“fuck _you_.”

“that’s the plan, honey. now stop being a needy little thing and have some patience for me, can you?”

the white haired man groans in his pillow. he definitely heard the pleased smirk that’s playing on jaehyeong’s lips. _serves him right._

chuckling to himself, jaehyeong reaches over to the bedside table, looking through the second drawer for the lube and condoms he keeps there. his fingers brush over a piece of leather, worn out and well loved, but he quickly closes the drawer with a _thud_ and throws the condoms next to woosung.

“you ok there, dude?”

“don’t call me dude when you’re about to finger me!”

“ok… bro.”

he finishes warming up the lube just before woosung could turn around and slam him over the head with a pillow, a condom _or_ his own hand. so, while pressing down on his lower back and thus making sure woosung can’t thrash around, jaehyeong begins rubbing his middle finger over his hole. woosung lets out the most _sinful_ mewl so far,

the first finger goes in without much effort, woosung’s hole already relaxed. he pushes it in gently, marveling at how _hot_ it is, the elder’s hole squeezing around his finger every so often, not letting him take his finger out. the excess lube makes the second finger slide in quickly after, but even so, jaehyeong still adds more.

woosung yelps at the cold lube that travels down his thighs and onto the bed sheets. he throws what sounds like a curse at jaehyeong, albeit without much fire in it. jaehyeong shushes him, only to have woosung moan even _louder_ just to piss him off.

“you fool! you think if you’re louder i’ll get mad?” he laughs, throwing his head back and almost taking his fingers out. he regains composure quickly and goes back to scissoring the fingers at the same rapid pace he had before. “that just means i’m doing an amazing job already and i only have two fingers up your ass!”

his head still buried in the pillow, woosung tries to bite back each sound that bubbles in his throat. but to his surprise, it’s not a moan that he lets out but another laugh. jaehyeong stops in his tracks, third finger prodding at the older man’s hole.

“what’s there to laugh about?”

“nothing, nothing,” woosung _giggles_. he honest to god _giggles_ and what the _fuck_ , who does that? “it’s just that you’re trying so hard to act like a stereotypical top… it’s adorable.”

there are many things jaehyeong is, and adorable is indeed one of them. but _not_ when he’s topping someone and clearly not when he is trying to fuck his ex- _something_ who broke his heart and who deserves to be fucked roughly and in no way _adorably_ by the overall adorable jaehyeong. god fucking damn it, he needs more alcohol, but he can’t fucking stop fingering woosung just to get more!

so he simply swallows his pride and with his clean hand he hits woosung over the ass five times, not as hard as the first time he’s done it tonight. he’s not getting soft on woosung. he’s just getting tired, the alcohol having mostly worn off by now. “shut _up_.”

“i told you to _make me_ ,” woosung parrots the same bratty answer. and just like before, jaehyeong shuts him without much trouble. he curls his fingers and sure enough, he touches over woosung’s prostate briefly, pulling them back out just to tease the other. “fuck you!”

“yes, we have established i will be the one fucking you, dear woosung,” he answers calmly. and if it doesn’t bring him _pure joy_ to see woosung groan and try to get away from him. what can he say? he’s a simple guy.

“if you don’t actually fuck me in the next… five minutes i will get up and leave.”

jaehyeong chuckles, “i am sure you will do that, honey. want me to show you the door? call you a cab? fix you a drink while you wait?” he keeps talking casually, despite the way he continues to thrust his fingers into the elder, and that alone is enough to make woosung, that crybaby attention seeking whore, whine. jaehyeong shushes him again. he urges woosung to spread his legs wider with a light smack on the inside of his thigh. “yes, yes, i’m paying attention to you, honey.”

he takes his fingers out once he deems woosung loose enough, sits back and waits. for a few seconds, woosung does nothing but whine at the empty feeling inside, then, he slowly starts getting more impatient with each second that passes where jaehyeong isn’t reaching for the condoms and fucking _railing him_ into the mattress.

“get back here and put your stupid dick in me or so help me _god_.” woosung turns around, propping himself on his elbows to glare at jaehyeong. his knees are bent, yet he keeps his legs open. how could jaehyeong even deny him when he presents himself _so nicely_?

“as you wish, your highness,” jaehyeong salutes mockingly. he crawls over to sit in between woosung’s legs, placing his hands gently on his hips. “you sure you wanna do it like this though?”

“oh, you think just because we’re exes we can’t do it face to face? you scared some missionary will make us realize we’re still in love?” woosung laughs as if he just made the funniest joke ever. something in jaehyeong hurts, but he doesn’t know _what_. “don’t be a child, jaehyeong,” the man scoffs, “it’s just sex.”

“i-- you’re right,” jaehyeong nods to himself, looking anywhere but at woosung. “i’m sorry, that was stupid of me.”

woosung’s hand reaches up before he can get a chance to dodge it. it’s warm when he puts it on jaehyeong’s cheek, his thumb brushing over the younger’s reddening cheekbones. it takes everything for jaehyeong to not lean into the touch.

“it wasn’t. stupid, i mean,” woosung says, voice uncharacteristically gentle. “now, can we just get to the fucking please? because i _will_ die if you don’t put your dick in me.”

jaehyeong rolls his eyes, pushing woosung down to lay on his back. “you’re so needy,” he says and reaches for the discarded condoms. “what should i do with you, hm?”

“erm, fuck me?”

“no, not that…”

while woosung’s eyes remain glued to his hands, his mouth slightly agape, jaehyeong decides he hasn’t had enough teasing just yet. his hands move on autopilot, lower, down his stomach, lifting the hem of his shirt enough to make woosung’s adam's apple bob. grinning down at woosung, he zips down his pants, sighing in relief. how the fuck did he manage so long in them, he doesn’t know.

he pulls his pants and underwear lower, his cock now free and leaking on his shirt. “are you… going to stay dressed?” woosung asks. he’s staring at jaehyeong’s dick, cheeks flushed and eyes glazed. “because that’s so hot.”

_power imbalance, huh?_

“then i guess i should take them off…”

“don’t you fucking _dare_ , lee.”

“okay, pillow princess,” jaehyeong snorts. _stop laughing, there’s nothing for you to laugh here. it’s just sex, you idiot, impersonal, filthy sex._

woosung hits his chest, whining as he does so. he looks away when jaehyeong hovers over him, arms on either side of his head to support his weight. it feels intimate… nothing like the rough sex jaehyeong had in mind. he can’t do it like this, can’t allow his heart to ache even further.

ten seconds later, he’s pushing inside woosung’s hole while holding his head down, burying it in the pillow to muffle his attempts of cursing him out for manhandling him. woosung’s hole is tight and hot, despite all the lube he’s used when opening him, pulling him in deeper, until he’s balls deep inside a surprisingly quiet woosung.

“you alright? wanna stop?” a silent head shake. “woosung?”

“shut _up_ , i’m trying to breathe here!” jaehyeong chuckles, running his hands on the elder’s back in comfort. “ _god_ , i told you to fuck me, not fucking rearrange my organs.” woosung sighs and drops his back lower. he wiggles under jaehyeong’s hands, moaning when one of them settles on his hip, while the other wraps around his waist. “move,” he whispers.

and who is jaehyeong to deny such a sweet request, spoken in such a broken voice.

he moves slowly, incredibly so, pulling out centimeter by centimeter, woosung pleading him to go faster. his arms move to hold onto woosung’s small waist. the man is writhing under him now, sobbing louder at each thrust.

it’s getting harder for jaehyeong to keep the pace up, his instincts taking over every time woosung impatiently moves his hips back to meet his thrusts. he can feel _himself_ under the palm he has spread on woosung’s stomach. he can touch _himself_ , his fingers brush over it with each deep shove. _god_ , he wants to feel it when he speeds up, when he fucks into woosung like there’s no tomorrow.

he speeds up, each snap of his hips faster and more aggressive than the previous one. jaehyeong’s fingers once again found themselves on woosung’s hips, digging into the already bloomed bruises he left before. woosung pushes his head deeper into the pillow, drooling around the part he’s bitten on.

he’s drooling _because_ of jaehyeong.

“god, you’re so hot, woosung,” jaehyeong groans, leaning over to continue biting on woosung’s neck. he still has another half that’s devoid of any marks, and jaehyeong doesn’t like the imbalance.

“ngh--” woosung answers cleverly. he bites down on his lip. “shut up.”

“nah, i don’t think i will.” adjusting woosung’s hips, the pace becomes ruthless. jaehyeong grabs onto the flesh of his ass, where. most of the marks he’s left when he spanked woosung have disappeared, only a pink-ish tone left behind, so jaehyeong lands another five on each cheek, pushing woosung over the edge more and more.

he reaches around to stroke woosung’s pitiful cock. though he can’t see it from his position, he can only imagine how red it must be, having been ignored since the beginning. the precum makes it easier for jaehyeong to move his hand, but even so, jaehyeong takes his time stroking the elder towards his release, though he continues to pound into woosung’s hole.

“please, please, please-- nghh-- move, _god_ , faster!”

“i am moving fast,” jaehyeong says simply.

“your hand-- jesus, _fuck_ \--”

the younger coos. “you’re so cute, beg some more.” he presses a kiss on woosung’s neck, biting lightly over an already formed hickey. woosung sobs. “you won’t? okay, honey, i guess i will stop.”

“no!” woosung all but screams. he’s sobbing now, crying into the pillow while he tries to fuck into jeahyeong’s fist. the sight would be even more adorable if jaehyeong got to see it properly. “please, please, fuck me faster, move your hand more, please, _jaehyeong_!” if that’s not _music_ to jaehyeong’s ears.

he does what woosung begged for, matching the movement of his hand to the momentum of his thrusts. it’s simpler to lose himself like this, when all he has to do is mindlessly fuck into woosung at a rapid pace, while getting the man off as well. it’s what he’s good at; taking people apart like this.

woosung cums with a muffled scream, body going tense and knees buckling. he’s squeezing even tighter around jaehyeong’s cock now and it makes it harder for him to control himself when he drags his cock out, only to push it back in.

the elder is shaking from the over stimulation, but he doesn’t tell jaehyeong to stop, not even when he grips woosung’s waist with so much force that his knees give out. jaehyeong continues thrusting into him, at the same animalistic speed.

he’s getting closer, his thrusts become more hectic, his moans louder.

“fuck, j-jae,” woosung sobs, “please give it to me, please, please--”

“fucking _slut_ ,” jaehyeong groans and buries himself as deep inside the elder as he can.

for a moment everything stills. he pulls out of woosung, the white haired man collapsing on the bed and wrapping himself in the blanket, not caring for a second that he’s covered in sweat and cum. shaking his head fondly, jaehyeong reaches to push back a few stray strands of hair from woosung’s forehead. he doesn’t want this to end, he doesn’t want to go back to not having woosung here, in his bed… with him.

then, realization comes in.

 _fuck_ , he’s still in love with woosung.

 _way to hate fuck him so hard he forgets his own name_ , jaehyeong thinks bitterly.

“cuddle me, fucker,” woosung mumbles into the blanket, opening it just enough for the younger to slip in next to him.

“shut up,” jaehyeong says automatically. he has to clean woosung first. he may have to play pretend in hating him, but that doesn’t mean he’s gonna be an asshole and leave him dirty and alone after fucking him.

eventually, after they’re both clean, jaehyeong does end up cuddling with a half asleep woosung.

the realization of his feelings is a problem that future jaehyeong will have to deal with.

* * *

hajoon blinks at him, eyes half lidded, dark circles under his eyes. he yawns and reaches for his coffee. "so you're in love with him, big fucking deal, dude! what's the problem here?"

"the problem is that i'm _not_ supposed to still be in love with him!" jaehyeong groans, letting his head fall down and hit the table with an audible _bang_. "it's stupid! so stupid! we had sex and suddenly _boom_ i wanna hold his hand and cuddle him and kiss him when he comes to annoy me while i make _him_ breakfast!"

"oh boy," hajoon sighs, "you're ready to offer him your hand in marriage…"

"i _am_! what do i do, joonie?"

the man pats jaehyeong's back. he straightens the younger so that he's no longer slouching and crying on his dinner table. "suck it up and confess, bitch!"

"easier said than done."

"rip in pieces, bro. rip in pieces."

jaehyeong groans one more time, his head banging on the table again. his life is a _joke_ and only god is laughing at his pitiful misery.

"don't leave a mark on my table, you heathen! it was a gift from dojoonie's mother!"

a very stupid, very cruel, awfully mean joke!

* * *

he hasn't seen woosung for another week or so, the man having left early in the morning after their hookup, before jaehyeong could’ve talked to him about the way his heart has started racing when he woke up in the middle of the night to woosung drooling on his shoulder.

so jaehyeong should have time to get over his feelings. at least that's what he thinks while he replays the exact same scene of woosung's pretty moans as he came because of _him_ , because jaehyeong was fucking him so well.

but now, with the older man a few steps away from him, staring at his laptop with bloodshot eyes and a dread for being alive simmering behind the exhaustions, he can't even shake the feeling of _wanting_ to be near woosung off.

and just like that, a few minutes after spotting the white haired man in the sea of tired students, jaehyeong drops his bag on the seat across from him. woosung doesn't even register his presence, too caught up in whatever he's reading.

he stares at woosung for more than five minutes, all the while he doesn't look up. it's… cute. objectively speaking, woosung reading is cute. his brows are furrowed, so that the crease between them deepens anytime he reads something jaehyeong assumes is confusing. he's biting on his lip every few minutes, pulling at it as he concentrates.

jaehyeong shakes his head; damn his love for woosung and the fact that it's making him think everything the man does is adorable. he _loathes_ it.

(he doesn't, not even one bit. but he's too afraid to admit that, even to himself.)

he coughs once woosung's eyes flutter shut, the sleepiness taking over. the man jumps back, almost falling from his chair. he glares at jaehyeong; adorable.

“what are you doing here?” woosung croaks out, still scowling. he’s trying to make himself look presentable, brushing a hand through his hair, wiping his eyes to make them seem like he's not dying inside.

"well, _honey,_ " woosung chokes on his spot, "this is a library. people come here to study. you'd know that if you didn't just spend your time staring at your laptop, waiting for it to explain your courses to yourself."

woosung throws a pencil at him, but he misses by a mile. what he doesn't miss however, is the person behind jaehyeong, who he hits square in the back of their head. they don't even look up.

"look what you made me do!" he whisper yells at jaehyeong. _goodness,_ he's just like an angry puppy. jaehyeong is so, _so_ whipped. the younger waves the concern off easily and goes to pick up the pencil. the person is breathing, so they're not dead, at least.

he tosses it back at woosung, gently, like a giving him a newborn baby, not a rainbow colored pencil.

"so, what are you doing?"

"studying?"

"yes." a moment of silence, then, "have you ever read descartes?"

jaehyeong sighs and momentarily thanks whatever deity told him to take that linguistics course in his first year. he stands up wordlessly and moves to sit next to woosung, throwing his backpack on the floor.

"let me teach you why i think, therefore i am."

"... what?"

this is going to be harder than he thought.

* * *

jaehyeong has never been one to believe in fates, in love at first sight and anything else alike. he liked the idea of it, sure, but soulmates, a person made entirely to fit with someone else, like two pieces of puzzle coming together to create a story… that was just baloney.

but now, as he stays awake at night, unable to sleep because he's thinking about a certain someone too much.

if fate is real and if it's actually listening to his woes right now, jaehyeong hopes she hears him curse at her.

because… he wasn't supposed to be in love with woosung; he was supposed to _still_ hate him. he _hated_ him! he did! but one look at woosung's vulnerable face and he was back in high school.

there wasn't anything he could do, at least not now. he would rather choke on metaphorical flowers blooming inside his lungs than ignore his feelings.

so, just like that, jaehyeong makes up his mind.

he's not fully a coward, just around fifty percent one. at least he admitted that he's in love with his ex faster than he thought he would.

shit, now he has to deal with a second heartbreak.

* * *

three days later, jaehyeong finds himself waiting for woosung just outside his dorm room, two coffees in his hands and the notes from his linguistics course in his bag.

he's very screwed, that much he knows.

he knocks twice and waits for woosung to open the door. five minutes later and he's still waiting, his patience getting thinner by the second. jaehyeong lifts his hand once more, ready to rapidly pound on the white door when someone finally pulls it open.

woosung, in all his naked glory, only a small towel hanging off his hips, is in front of jaehyeong. there are _droplets_ of water falling off his hair, down his chest, lower and lower and oh _god_ , jaehyeong can't concentrate on anything else but the massive boner he's going to sport in the next .5 seconds.

"erm… hi?"

woosung, at least, has the decency to turn red and rush back to the bathroom.

left alone in the doorway, jaehyeong invites himself in, closing the door behind him. woosung's dorm is small, just a bed, table and a closet. not a single photo is hung on the wall. it's very… plain looking, almost as if no one is living there.

jaehyeong puts his stuff on the floor and takes a seat right next to his bag. his butt already hurts.

"why do you even live here if you're not trying to add some spice to this place?" he asks the empty room, hoping that woosung hears him.

woosung does hear him, but keeps quiet until he gets back, now wearing actual clothes. "it's cheap. and i can't afford something better." he shrugs to himself and kneels down next to jaehyeong.

the atmosphere is way too tense, jaehyeong can't stand it.

"so… how exactly have you been?"

"we've seen each other a few days ago, dude?"

"i meant… you know…"

"i don't actually, so please enlighten me, darling."

there it is again, that pet name, said with such nonchalance that jaehyeong's brain all but short-circuits. woosung doesn't even look up from his phone when he says it! it's not fair.

"after you… left," jaehyeong finishes lamely, his cheeks heating up. the elder's attention is on him in seconds, which only adds to the heat he feels in his face.

"after i left? or do you wanna know _why_ i left as well?" jaehyeong scratches his cheek. he lifts his coffee up and takes a long sip of the lukewarm liquid. a beat of silence, then woosung sighs and lounges back on the floor. “it’s not an interesting story, i’ll warn you before i start.” the younger nods and keeps quiet. “well, here comes my weak and underdeveloped redemption story! my parents… found out about us… and it’s safe to say they didn’t like it.”

jaehyeong’s eyes widen. “but-- but they seemed fine with me coming over?”

“because you were my _friend_ , not boyfriend. at least to them. they sent me away, which is why i didn’t get to tell you about it, and by the time i was eighteen and i could leave the… place they sent me to, i didn’t think you’d be happy if i were to just pop out of nowhere with my sob story. part of me hoped that we’d never see each other again, because i _knew_ i hurt you, leaving like this, without a single message-- and i know you deserve better, because _fuck_ look at you! you’ve grown to be everything i wanted back then. out and proud, beautiful, with friends that actually support you… but there’s another part of me, which hopes… longs to have you back, even if i don’t deserve to have you as my boyfriend again.”

“god damn it, you’re such an idiot,” jaehyeong shakes his head at the white haired man. he’s been hating on a man who was sent god knows where just because he was stupid enough to actually believe he’d leave without a word! he feels like a clown and a fool; boo boo the penniwise, that’s who he is! “we’re fucking idiots, woosung!”

“erm, not the reaction i was expecting from you, but okay… aren’t you angry? don’t you want to… don’t you hate me?”

“i mean, granted, i did hate you. i’ve hated you for a very long time, blamed you for anything else that happened in my life, you know? but i realized some time ago that… well… i don’t really hate you that much anymore.”

“still, i apologize. it wasn't fair to you."

"and i forgive you."

woosung, still on the floor, smiles up at him. jaehyeong, leaning on the side of the bed, smiles back.

**Author's Note:**

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